Optimism In My Life
Alex Linhardt
1999
I have never considered myself a "family" person. I always dreaded going to sleep-inducing family reunions and hearing the inevitable cliche, "I remember when you were this big". I didn't understand why I should embrace family, when friends were the people I enjoyed being with. Fortunately, my theory that there was no reason to care about family was disproved by my grandmother. She taught me that family is a necessity, a one-of-a-kind thing that a person must always appreciate and be thankful for. Her sanguinity in the face of crisis (yet, not to the point of pollyannaism), and my optimism that I can be as strong as she is, is what drives me to be a better person.
Agnes Victoria Linhardt was born on march 30, 1931 in Budapest, Hungary. Growing up in the midst of the Holocaust, where "Hitler barked on the radio promising 'ausradiren' (erase) the Jews" and people (including some of my direct relatives "were taken to Auschwitz...and murdered in the gas chambers", Agi (as we affectionately call her) became a very strong individual. After fighting off her increasing enjoyment of alcohol and a distraught marriage, she found the inner strength to rise above this and is now a proud member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Right when everything was going well, Agi was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was a tragic event in our family. Sulking in my room, I was growing more and more upset. Luckily, my grandmother called and told me to think about the times we've had and the time we can have together for a little while longer. That she stayed this calm when being told she has a incurable disease is nothing less than amazing. So, on a tip from my grandmother, I tried to think of the ways in which she has made me a lot more optimistic about my family, my future, and (above all) my life.
When I was younger, going to "Grandma's House" was like going to a tourist resort. There was tasty, ethnic cuisine (although I think she made up "Hungarian French fries"), old black-and-white movies with famous stars, swimming, and tons of soda. Of course, there was also Agi, an inspiring, encouraging friend. She told my sister and I engaging tales of her youth, like when she was expelled from school for leaving her report card in the rain, and how great recent books she'd read were (She's a retired librarian). She was a key factor in bringing out my musical and literary interests. She introduced me to and financed my piano lessons. She bought books for me that were far more interesting than my "favorite" stories ("The Boxcar Children") at the time. She "forced" us to watch classics like "Citizen Kane" and "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" when I wanted to watch "Home Alone". It is because of my grandmother that I've become a little more "left-brained" and a little more hopeful that I can do something artistic or musical.
Today, my sister and I can have slightly more intelligent conversations with my grandmother. We play Scrabble and Agi regularly beats me by more than a hundred points. Our conversations are more serious in tone and concentrate on teaching me about the Holocaust and my family. Her recent addiction to computer scanning has resulted in e-mails filled with pictures of my ancestors and relatives. She encourages me to always look on the bright side of things, even tragedy. For instance, she relied on learning and reading to distract herself from a world where "bombings became daily events".
I hope that one day I can be as strong and optimistic as my grandmother. She's not what many people consider "strong". She's about five foot four and a hundred and two pounds. She was never in the Army or the World Wrestling Federation, but she is the strongest and most courageous person I've ever met. Knowing that you have cancer is, mentally, very difficult to cope with. Somehow, my grandmother has still been as kind as ever (maybe it has something to do with her love for corny, happy musicals). She is still as optimistic as ever and is always searching the Internet or library to find out how cancer research is progressing. While I hope she can live long enough to meet my kids, I feel confident that I can spread Agi's legacy throughout my family be showing my kinds where their background is and how amazing their family was. And I hope that one day I can show my kids how the "great" got in their great grandmother.
9 September 2002; pml